Meditation is becoming more and more popular to enhance good work habits, improve health, sharpen our response times, and increase memory. This week a Huffington Post article says that meditation on your spouse can help people sustain their marriages. http://tinyurl.com/mcn2jjp Dr. Flanagan posits that we should meditate on our spouses. (Look at #9 in the list.)
I suggest that we should just meditate.
Dr. Lazar of Harvard University has shown that meditation increase ours grey matter density in the temporo-parietal junction which increases empathy. http://tinyurl.com/4nneuvj Dr. De Steno of Northeastern University has shown that meditation can increase our capacity to feel compassion. http://tinyurl.com/pjx67pk
What does this mean in a marriage? It means we will be better able to understand what our partner is feeling, as well as discern more accurately what they are saying. We will be more patient, more compassionate.
Being compassionate means we can really listen to the person who is speaking instead of being caught in the stories we are telling ourselves about what they should be doing or saying. Basically, being more compassionate means we are being nicer.
Meditation takes a commitment of about twenty minutes a day. You say you don’t have time for that? What is your marriage worth? How much time do you spend on Facebook, watching TV, talking on the phone? Take five minutes a day away from each of those things. You could just save your marriage…..and be a whole lot happier over all.
I swear. It is that simple.